Can you believe it!

Two posts in one day, shut it! As you may be able to tell I have some free time today :)

I hope you all had a great Christmas and New Years, I certainly did. It's struck me lately that I've unknowingly been going through a rather significant period of change, personally and emotionally I guess. Only over the past few weeks has it really dawned on me that I've taken a step forward in my career, but a major step back in my social life. One would say this is almost inevitable considering how much time work takes up in our daily lives, and I should be grateful I have the opportunity to work right? Of course I'm pleased and thankful that I have some freelance work, but sporadic weeks working in London mixed alongside weeks away from the city doing nothing has began to frustrate me in more ways than one.

Taking a step in the right direction, that's what I tell myself to calm my anxieties and worry (I'm a bit of a worrier I've decided, haha). Soon after finishing my postgraduate last September I landed a great freelance gig working with a national television news programme. Proper mint I know, I should be stoked, grateful and appreciative of the fact that they want me to work for them on a freelance basis. The money is good (although I'm still wrestling with HR, grrrr) and I enjoy the work. I could do more there sure, but that will come with time, I can't expect them to toss me into the deep end just yet. I need to be patient, continue to show a good attitude and work hard.

BUT, being a freelance means I work a week on, two weeks off, few days here and a few days there. I'm living in a world of uncertainty at the moment and it's not for me. Spontaneity is great right? On a night out? lol. But when it comes to steady work, pay cheques and moving away from home, I don't wanna kid around. I'm sorry for ranting on, but it's good to vent right?

So, my career is slowly moving along, not as fast as I'd of hoped, but what can you do .. The major thing that's grinding my gears I think Is living at home. After five years of self sufficiency away from home and the watchful eyes of my parents (Gotta love 'em ) I've had to move back with them. So when I go up to work in London with friends, I begin realise what I'm severely missing out on. The lifestyle I once enjoyed seems a million miles away since my return. Sharing a place with your closest friends, partying into the wee hours, hanging out with random girls when you please, making a mess and acting like a grown up during the week and a joke over the weekend. Irresponsible? Please .. As long as you're having a good time, that's all that matters right?

So can you understand my pickle? Yes the career is moving along, but due to shifts being sporadic and my future working with this particular news provider uncertain (they could cut me loose anytime they want), I'm stuck, what will be my next path? When will I be in a permanent, secure state of work? I remain facing the unknown which keeps me from moving away with friends and returning to the social world of respectful responsibility and foolish irresponsibility which I once enjoyed. Are things really that bad? Nah, of course not. But to write about my frustrations and look into the future only encourages me to seek the answer to my problems.

When I actually write on this page I really do enjoy myself and the time it gives me to reflect. How about that :)